55 Woody Allen Quotes About Life, Love & His Movies (2021)

Our latest collection of Woody Allen quotes on Everyday Power. Enjoy!

1. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen

Everyday Application: Sure, this can be a bit embarrassing, but have you ever laughed that hard? It is an incredible feeling to laugh and share joy with others. This will be a moment you won’t forget.

2. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.” – Woody Allen

Everyday Application: Practice gratitude. The more you can be thankful for the happier you will be. This article about gratitude explains why it helps you stay positive and feeling blessed.

3. “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” – Woody Allen

Everyday Application: Take that first step of action. How many great ideas have you had, but never pursued? We have to give our ideas a chance to be successful, and that means showing up. Be ready to put in the work and you will be amazed at what happens.

4. “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.” – Woody Allen

Everyday Application: Life is short, and we never know how much time we have. Misery, loneliness, and suffering are all a part of life at times. However, they are the flip side of joy, love, and thriving. Be grateful for all aspects of life while you here.

5. “All I can do is wait for it.” – Woody Allen

Everyday Application: This doesn’t mean sit back and not take any kind of action towards your goals. It means just recognizing that it might not be time yet for the outcome you are looking for, so you will need to continue to work, grow, and develop. Patience is necessary, not idleness.

6. “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.” – Woody Allen

Also, check out these Atheist quotes that will make you ask valuable questions.

Woody Allen Quotes About Life, Love and His Movies

7. “Tradition is the illusion of permanence.” – Woody Allen

8. “What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.” – Woody Allen

9. “Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.” – Woody Allen

10. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” – Woody Allen

11. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen

12. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” – Woody Allen

13. “The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.” – Woody Allen

14. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen

15. “God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.” – Woody Allen

16. “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.” – Woody Allen

Woody Allen quotes from his movies and films

17. “Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.” – Woody Allen

18. “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.” – Woody Allen

19. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.” – Woody Allen

20. “I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That’s the two categories. The horrible are like, I don’t know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don’t know how they get through life. It’s amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you’re miserable, because that’s very lucky, to be miserable.” – Woody Allen

21. “I think crime pays. The hours are good, you meet a lot of interesting people, you travel a lot.” – Woody Allen

Insightful Woody Allen Quotes

22. “There have been times when I’ve thought of suicide but with my luck it’d probably be a temporary solution.” – Woody Allen

23. “It figures you’ve got to hate yourself if you’ve got any integrity at all.” – Woody Allen

24. “I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I’m never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.” – Woody Allen

25. “What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people.” – Woody Allen

26. “We’re worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques. This thing here. This is from — I don’t remember exactly. I think it’s the Renaissance or the Magna Carta or something. But that’s where it’s from.” – Woody Allen

27. “My relationship with death remains the same – I’m strongly against it.” – Woody Allen

Motivational Woody Allen Quotes

28. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” – Woody Allen

29. “The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically, he’s an underachiever.” – Woody Allen

30. “It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen

31. “As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree’ — probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.” – Woody Allen

32. “Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.” – Woody Allen

33. “His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.” – Woody Allen

34. “It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune.” – Woody Allen

35. “It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better… while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.” – Woody Allen

36. “You know a lot of geniuses, y’know. You should meet some stupid people once in a while, y’know, you could learn something.” – Woody Allen

37. “The man who said ‘I’d rather be lucky than good’ saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It’s scary to think so much is out of one’s control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net and for a split second it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck it goes forward and you win. Or maybe it doesn’t and you lose.” – Woody Allen

Woody Allen quotes to inspire you

38. “To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.” – Woody Allen

39. “Curiosity, that’s what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It’s our own hearts and minds.” – Woody Allen

40. “More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.” – Woody Allen

41. “I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.” – Woody Allen

42. “If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.” – Woody Allen

43. “I can levitate birds. No one cares.” – Woody Allen

44. “I love nature, I just don’t want to get any of it on me.” – Woody Allen

45. “I hate reality but it’s still the best place to get a good steak.” – Woody Allen

46. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

Thought-provoking Woody Allen Quotes

47. “Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.” – Woody Allen

48. “I think universal harmony is a pipe dream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodelling.” – Woody Allen

49. “I don’t know enough to be incompetent.” – Woody Allen

50. “Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.” – Woody Allen

51. “All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.” – Woody Allen

52. “Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.” – Woody Allen

53. “You’ll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don’t always win.” – Woody Allen

54. “Doing something in life is not easy and everything that can be done without it is a good choice.” – Woody Allen

55. “A world I will never feel comfortable in, never understand, and never approve of or forgive.” – Woody Allen

56. “You can tell from my movies; while some are entertaining, no idea I ever had is going to start any new religion.” – Woody Allen